I want to age like sea glass.
Smoothed by tides
but not broken.
I want my hard edges to soften.
I want to ride the waves,
go with the flow
and let it carry me.
I want to catch a wave
to where I belong.
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a child who feels empty will try and fill
themselves with anything. my mother scoffs
at me when I get up for seconds and says:
“do you really need another plate?”
It’s when the earth shakes
And foundations crumble
That our light is called
To rise up.
It’s when everything falls away
And shakes us to the core
And awakens all
Of our hidden ghosts
That we did deeper to find
Once inaccessible strength.
I would like to open my heart to you
and keep it open, but the truth is
sometimes all it takes is a glance,
or the lack of a glance, or a certain tone,
or a serrated tone, and instantly the heart
puts on its armor, which is something like
a coat of porcupine quills, only
only the quills go inward, too, and the instant
I wear it, I am aware of how much it hurts
to wear it. How in that moment when I seek
to protect myself, I wound myself.
There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.
Too often people try to change their lives by using the will as a kind of hammer to beat their life into proper shape. The intellect identifies the goal of the program, and the will accordingly forces the life into that shape. This way of approaching the sacredness of one’s own presence is externalist and violent. It brings you falsely outside yourself and you can spend years lost in the wilderness of your own mechanical, spiritual programs. You can perish in a famine of your own making.
For the rebels and the misfits,
the black sheep and the outsiders.
For the refugees, the orphans,
the scapegoats, and the weirdos.
For the uprooted, the abandoned,
the shunned and invisible ones.
It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.