Generous Assumptions

I would like to open my heart to you
and keep it open, but the truth is
sometimes all it takes is a glance,
or the lack of a glance, or a certain tone,
or a serrated tone, and instantly the heart
puts on its armor, which is something like
a coat of porcupine quills, only
only the quills go inward, too, and the instant
I wear it, I am aware of how much it hurts
to wear it. How in that moment when I seek
to protect myself, I wound myself.

What if I believed you are doing the best you can
considering the forces that have shaped you?
What if i listened past your words, looked through
your actions to see how you, too, feel threatened?
The Buddha said we are always moving
toward or away freedom.

Could I, in that moment before the prickly coat
has started to do its prickly work,
could I move toward freedom
by refusing to put it on? Could I choose instead
the silken road of generous assumptions,
the one that allows for compassion, connection
even kindness toward you? toward myself?

Already, just thinking about it being possible,
I notice a softening, a curiosity about how I might
not change you, but myself. Already, I feel
how fluid this robe is, how gently it swirls around me,
how strong its fibers are, how freeing it is,
cool and breezy, this gift to myself.

by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer